Adidas and I
I volunteer for Animal Lover’s Rescue as a foster parent to dogs, this is how I found about Adidas and her story. A soon-to-be 4 canine that was homeless with her very young owner, both living in the car. I read just that much in the foster’s chat along with some pictures of Adidas. Up until then, I had only fostered puppies that quickly get adopted. Puppies are the perfect scenario for me, having taken care of my older dogs for years, and not feeling ready to have another one of my own after their passing. The rescue gives me the opportunity to help other pets in need of a transitional home and love, at the same time that I get my refreshing puppy fix. Adidas’ pictures showed no sign of neglect, in fact she looked beautiful and her unusual ears added personality. She seemed athletic and friendly as well… I started to wonder, what could have possibly happened to this young lady that she found herself homeless with her best friend? Somehow I felt connected with the story though at that very moment, I didn't know why. This happened little after the break up with my boyfriend; I felt lonely and I missed both him and his dog. For almost two years, they made up my little family.
No one at the rescue could take Adidas at the time, but I couldn’t stop thinking of her. I thought a lot about the young lady who was homeless, I don't think she’s passed 20. She reminded me of myself at 18. No one would’ve known I was homeless nor the reason for it. There’s misconceptions about homelessness. Not everyone who is homeless "looks homeless".I decided to foster Adidas despite my condo regulations about bigger dogs; I figured I would be fine for some time till she got adopted.
When Adidas walked into my apartment with her owner… she knew. She was restless, anxious; she kept making small whines that sounded like pleads. My heart was broken for both of them. The thought alone of how Adidas could possibly feel abandoned broke my heart in two. I had not experienced a surrender before because up util then, I had only taken puppies. I clinged on for 17 years to my former dogs Harley and Mikey who died of old age, I can't think of having to let them go before their time and for any other reason than death. That night Adidas did not eat, her sleep was light and so was mine. For the next couple of days she would hang out mostly on the rug by the dining table, facing the door out… waiting for her master to return for her.
I understood perfectly the decision of Adidas' owner. It wouldn't be fair to keep her; Adidas deserved stability and a good home. Despite how much she loved Adidas, she had to let her go. It all felt too familiar... only in my own story I was Adidas. When my boyfriend decided to let go of our relationship, he said he wasn't ready for a commitment, nor was he ready for his feelings. It was fair for him to find his way, and for me to find a partner that I could grow with. My mind understood what the heart could not and if it was left up to the latter... I would've stayed. I wasn't ready to let go. The day he shared his decision with me, I felt like the whining Adidas that had come to my home, hoping not to be left behind.
As I sat down to talk to Adidas, telling her that, 'their love never leaves when they do,' I realized I was talking to myself. It was at that moment that I started to cry. My grief and feelings of abandonment poured out with every sob and tear that had been waiting desperately to come out. I felt lonely and vulnerable like a child. My boyfriend’s decision to end the relationship might have been for the best of us individually, but it broke my heart non the less. Since we met, I always felt he was running away from his feelings... still our connection was undeniable even for him. In a short time, we became friends, playmates, partners in crime. He became a part of my everyday life when I was used to doing everything alone. He slowly wiggled into my heart. We shared the smaller details with each other and suddenly I had no one to share them with because these were details I only shared with him. Despite being in love with each other, time just didn’t seem to be right for us. It was as sudden and as unexpected as when mom and dad passed away; that is how I felt. I did not see this coming because I was confident of his love, but I never counted on the power of fear. With this relationship, I had finally opened my heart again and became vulnerable; I finally was allowing myself to be loved and cared for... it was so easy with him...and then it all disappeared. I felt teased by the universe.
I saw in a video that when you love and treat a dog kindly, once you're gone, no matter for how long, the dog will always remember you and greet you with the same excitement as if you had just come back from work... as if time had not passed at all. Once we move on, if we meet again, will we still look at each other with the same love and kindness? I wonder, will we smile at each other for the beautiful times shared... will we have regrets?
'Love does not leave when our loved ones depart to the next world or the next cycle of their lives. The love stays through the beautiful moments that were shared.' Every word of hope and healing I was giving Adidas, I was really saying to myself. I know now why I rescued Adidas, because I needed to believe that some day, I can be rescued too. As days pass, Adidas has made her own little nook in my bed, she gets excited for our early beach runs, enjoys the food I mix for her and wants to play. In short, Adidas has moved on in just a few days. And if her previous owner ever returns, she will still be happy and greet her well. Adidas did not feel abandoned, she was just sad to part. There is something I certainly have to learn from Adidas who came to rescue me in return.
Stick around for a possible part 2